The Fundamental Atheist
The room is white; the room is empty… empty, all except for Rudy. Rudy rests his head on the palm of his hand, sits, and patiently waits. For what, you ask? Guess. If you’re interested, and 9 out of 10 people are, you can probably guess. Me? I’m *supposed* to know, silly.
Rudy is a 3 horned, purple headed, wooly creature of immense weight and circumference. Strands of rainbow colored locks sway from his melon and girthy middle – left and right, slowly and smoothly, like the gentle meander of an eel in search of prey.
There are no windows open, there are no windows. The ceiling fan is off, in fact, the moment I notice it… it’s gone. I don’t feel a draft; no goose-bumps on me. Rudy’s tufts of hair are alive on their own and react to me.
A wall of hot air envelopes the room. (Sniff… Sniff… ) Did someone just pass wind? Well, Rudy did… but, that’s just Rudy.
I purposely walk over to Rudy, right eyebrow raised. I lean to the left, squint, and try to peek around. Nope, I’m incapable of seeing around. I take two steps and tilt my head to the right… eyes straining to ponder the mammoth arc. One beat… two beats… three. Deep breathe in… blow out. I reject the idea of being able to see my way around Rudy. Nah, I don’t get it. Plus I don’t believe it’s possible *to* get it.
There’s no obvious way to get my head around Rudy – nothing simple, anyway. Maybe a group effort – the teamwork of friends and family to help get around? Nope, I reject that idea. I don’t want help; it has to be me and me alone. Hmm…
Rudy looks to be attentive and tolerant, but his stare begins to wander… sometimes at me, sometimes not. With the innocent, simple far-off look of a retarded child who just wants to eat or play, Rudy starts to fidget. The extensive flowing curls distract Rudy for a second then the squirming begins again. Does Rudy need to go poop? I don’t believe so… I have faith in that.
What troubles me is simple – I can get from point A to point B. It’s short, uncomplicated… makes sense. But, tell me that it’s possible to get from point A to point 37, yet there is no undeniable proof? I will totally reject, well… Rudy. That’s *my* assurance.
I’m a thoughtful, caring, literal person but when trials and tribulations lead me to consider and scrutinize Rudy… I wonder why? It makes no sense to me. Rubbish, I say! I need honest, black and white facts.
Perplexed (but in a good way), I reach up and examine what remains of my hair. Scratching and rubbing my head alerts Rudy to do the same. Hey Rudy, I used to have hair like you. But, now, I don’t miss it. I don’t even remember it.
There is in fact an elephant in the room.